I know alot of people watched the interview I did on Investigation Discovery channel. I did a 3 hour interview, and we all know that they pull together the things that suit their story.

I gave that interview because it was the first time I spoke freely. It was very therapeutic for me. I said a lot of things that were not included, which is not unusual. They showed all my good feelings and memories toward my father.

We had good times, always overshadowed by the fear of his temper. He decided what we were going to do and we all went along smiling. There were no choices for us. Everyone knows that you don’t feel like smiling 24/7. But we did, when my Dad was home. Just thinking about it makes me nervous. If my sister and I were having a “disagreement”, we usually had it with one of us looking out the window to make sure he didn’t come home,  and hear us fighting.  But he was so Damn quiet, he could be in the house and no one knew. I have been talking to my sister again. It is good to talk to her, we survived so much together. Things that only she and I understand.

We were very close growing up. We stood together wondering so many times, “would this be the time that he went too far”. We never imagined it would end how it has.  We had hoped for so long that someone would stop him, but believed that no one ever would or could. The fact that we got free of him and live a life without fear is amazing. We are now realizing all that we went through and WE SURVIVED!  It has been a long rough road , so many things have happened since he has been gone. strange how I see things differently now. More clearly , I think, for the first time in my life I am putting the past behind me. dealing with it and putting it away. It will always be in my head but it would be nice not to have it in the front of my memories all the time.

Barbara continues to sell my family photos, and has begun selling our home movies as well. They were suppose to be ours, not hers, not all the worlds. My family videos, me and my sister playing and growing up, always wearing the same outfits. My brother running around as a toddler. My Memories. My father took everyone of those videos of us, his children.  I have recently taken my rights back from her. All future pictures and videos that she sells will have my face blocked out. This should be interesting.

I think I would feel differently if she didn’t act like she isn’t doing anything wrong. Since my father was arrested I said, “I do not want to be involved in any of the media”. That was never respected and she always involved me, calling me crying that if, “I didn’t let them use my pictures,” it would ruin her project. I have taken care of her for many years, as has my sister. She would get a large check from one of the HBO specials or something. I would say lets buy a house, I will make the monthly payments you put the down payment down. That never happened, so we rented and paid someone else’s mortgage.  Time after time she would get a check and in a month or two, she was broke again and we had to buy her cigarettes. She feels that she gave us all money, and she did!  But she controlled it, she gave me the money to pay for my Divorce. She wanted me divorced so she would pay for that. we never got a lump of money to do what we wanted to do with it. I would have gotten a house, so that it was mine, and no one could make me move. She always had to control the money, I do appreciate the divorce and the other bills she paid, but would have liked to make my own decisions about what I did with my money. Especially, since we were always a part of “Her” projects.

We always have lived in the extremes. We live well and spend freely or we are broke. Trust me this is not a good way to live. Stability is definitely preferred.  I want to buy a house so I can leave it to my son.

I am a fighter and will continue to struggle for what I want!

 

 

 

 

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28 thoughts on “I know alot of people watched the interview I did on Investigation Discovery channel. I did a 3 hour interview, and we all know that they pull together the things that suit their story.

  1. Happy you are able to connect with your sister, I agree with you that you lived that life and your mother should share the money received from telling it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Christin,
    Thanks for shaing your experiences, I have a friend that reminds of your dad (though he’s not as ‘bad’). He’s from new York and spent a lot of time in jail but at the same time is a family man. Long story short I find in interesting how people, particularly men like myself, can be caring on the one hand and have disregard for things on the other. I’m trying to understand things as I get older. Can I ask; have you ever had any contact with your dads sister Roberta or his kids from his first marriage? Thank you again, I hope this finds you well.
    D

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    1. Hi Doug, Yes, when we were young Roberta left her children at our house often. His sons also, spent time with us when we were young.
      His sons are both dead unfortunately. My sister went to see Roberta’s daughters not long ago.
      I think everyone has a little good and bad in them. My father was the extreme of both.

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    2. Nice to hear from you Christin, thank you, I hope you’re doing well. I watched ‘wave to daddy’ the other daddy. So Americana 1970’s are those images, I had to laugh. Cars and outfits etc. It felt like a blast from the past. I grew up in LA but may as well have been in Dumont, NJ from the looks of things:-). You looked great in the interview, I’d be curious to see what they decided to edit out. I’d also be curious to see what they decided to edit out of your dad’s interviews. Does seeing those films make you feel better, worse, mixed, or indifferent? What do you find therapeutic about coping with things you’ve experienced? Does the thought of having contact with your dad’s past history seem to appealing or objectionable to you? You seem quite resilient, I hope you feel that way.
      D

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      1. Hi Doug, Yes, these videos are a blast from the past. Strange because they are my family memories that I should be home watching with my sister and laughing about our favorite bell bottoms. But instead my mother has sold them to the world for all to see. Again, we are left to deal with this. My father’s interviews are all on you tube, by HBO. I always objected to my father’s actions. This is why we weren’t close. All the things I had that people consider privileged, I would give up in a heartbeat for him to stop hurting people.
        Christin

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        1. Hi again Christin,
          I’ve watched the HBO videos on youtube like you mentioned, very fascinating… except I’m not impressed by the ‘interviewer’ in the original first interview. He seems like a pushy cop; your dad seemed to be bothered by him. Also, I’ve read about how long the interviews were but the HBO special is just a fraction of that. I’m curious if you’ve seen the whole unedited version? I bet I would find what wasn’t published as interesting as what was. Also, I was listening to Phillip Carlo’s book on tape; In it he described an occasion when the police came to your house looking for your dad and talked to your mom. Do you remember that? Or have you ever talked to Pat Kane et al.? I find it remarkable how compartmentalized your dad kept his life. I suspect you knew he was up to know good and I bet your mom knew back then as well but still, pretty fascinating.
          Its always mice seeing your posts and knowing your thoughts. It helps me feel sane.
          All the best as always,
          Doug

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          1. Hi Doug,
            Yes the police, FBI and other officials came to our house occasionally. My father either hid or spoke with them. We were often watched by unmarked cars. It unfortunately, was a normal part of out lives. I didn’t know any different.
            Now looking back I wonder about them never being around on the occasions when my father had road rage. Or some of the other events that happened outside our home.
            Christin

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  3. Hey, Christin- it’s Pat. Sorry, this will be a sorta long-winded post. SO glad you and Merrick are finding your way to sisterhood again. No one else can ever know the true story of life with your parents, or the terrible episodes you supported one another through, and the desperate escape plans you hatched together , or remember when you communicated effectively with only your eyes, and understood each other perfectly, like you two did . In my humble opinion, you are both heroes who deserve all of the accolades, compensation, and acknowledgment this world throws your way. (once it wakes up that fact, which it soon will). In keeping with doing my part to bring this acknowledgment about, I have been doing a little research on your family history and its members; compiling it and just putting it aside for you, just in case you ever do sit down and write that book all of your fans want written . Such as, I found some stuff on Richard’s first wife, who passed away in the late ’90s, and who, incidentally, was named “Rita”, NOT “Linda ” as Philip Carlo claimed in his book about your Dad. Trying to find info on his little sister , who was your Aunt Roberta, etc…. ANYway, in researching your paternal grandparents, Stanley and Anna, I started by simply pulling up a few old Census records, which dated back quite some time . I decided to concentrate on just the documents that included your Dad. And — Gi–url! Guess what I discovered? It absolutely floored me. Ok: I was reading the Jersey City Census reports of 1940, when the Kuklinski household only had four members. First, the report lists the head of the household, husband and father : one Stanley Kuklinski , born in Warsaw, Poland, age 30 -something-( I now forget the exact year of his birth. Sorry.) Occupation: railroad” brake man” …. Husband to: wife Anna, formerly McNally (hope memory serves on her maiden name ), Irish. Ocupation : homemaker, and mother of one MALE child, five year old Richard Leonard, who hopes to soon to start kindergarten….. But, girl, get this: it winds up by stating that Anna is the mother of the male child, aforementioned Richard, and…. one FEMALE child, a DAUGHTER, by the name of Florian Kuklinski, age eleven. Mind you, this info was all on the family’s combined report, so I thought maybe the Census taker was mistaken in his/her transcribing on that sole document . So, I looked for and soon found the family member’s individual reports for 1940. There it was again:” Florian Kuklinski, age eleven, FEMALE. ” On your father’s individual report : “…SISTER : Florian”. On both Stanley and Anna’s: “One DAUGHTER , Florian”…. Honey, what do you make of it? (And please forgive me if I am out of line by delving into your personal family history–please, don’t be mad…😞)

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    1. I keep going back and reading this! How were you able to question this and all the other investigators never found it.
      You are amazing. Hope you are feeling better.
      Christin

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      1. Actually, among friends, I’m known as “P.I. Patty” and “The Detective “… I am the research queen. All I need is a phone, internet access, and just a TINY scrap of info–& I like to think that there’s nothing I can’t find out. The “real” investigators are just NOT as thorough as they should be, IMO . For instance, I thought that Philip Carlo (RIP) took A LOT of …. shall we say, liberties, in all of his bios. It wasn’t til I began my own investigation, that I found the discrepancies. ANYWAY– I only want to obtain true, accurate information for you, should you ever want it. You’d be surprised at all the info that pops up, just by Googling “Florian Kuklinski”– for one thing, that 1940 NJ Census Report. Also, many of your grandfather Stanley’s records — marriages, relatives– are on one site I visit , the so called Death Index; it even tells you which relatives are living or not, and if not, the place and date of their passing. Oh, and thanks for asking about my illness, Dear; yes, I am feeling A LOT better.

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  4. Hi Pat
    Wow, I’m sure there are a number of explanations. I tend to think, my father was 3 doubt he really remembers the incident. Probably wasn;t something they discussed. Or my father is just outright lying.
    Either way its very interesting. Enjoy your research- lol
    Christin

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    1. Hey, Christin- -Thanks for replying to me so quickly; I’m lying in a hospital bed once again, and it meant a lot. I forgot to ask you if you know when the Discovery channel interview will air, & what it will be called? Also: by what means can your fans/ followers donate funds to you, to keep you encouraged about your blog, and also help to lift some of the burden, as far as medical bills & so forth? I promise I won’t bug you for quite some time after this… 😌

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    2. Hello, Christin:
      In regard to the name Florian, you might wish to know that it is generally a male Polish name. I had a male Polish friend with that middle name. There are some females named Florian, mostly from other cultures. Perhaps the census-taker made an assumption regarding gender, based upon the use of the name in the US?
      Blessings,
      Wini

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  5. Dear Christin: After seeing your interview on Investigation, I accidentally came across your blog. It made me very sad to read about your illness as well as your family’s in fighting and division; mainly because I have such similar issues. (I don’t share them in public forums) I just wanted to wish you success in your writing. Looking forward to seeing you published one day.

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      1. I too have MS and of Polish descent. My dad’s family settled in Elizabeth and Carteret NJ. I can relate to your family dysfunction, although not as severe. I wish you luck.

        Liked by 1 person

          1. I have had MS about 30 years; luckily you wouldn’t know I have it unless I mention it. How is your condition?

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            1. That’s Great! I have had it for 28 yrs and only recently I am falling alot and get confused easily. We are both very lucky! Christin

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  6. Hey Christin. I just watched a documentary about your father and did a quick search that brought me to your blog.
    I am a complete stranger but I just wanted to extend my condolences to you, as another victim of your father’s crimes. I hope you and your sister continue to grow stronger each day and I hope that your days only get brighter.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dear Christin,
    I pray for you, and your sister and brother, to have peace and healing. I lift all three of your names up to the One who loves you, who died and rose again for you. Your strength, bravery and courage are inspiring. Prayers that your journey leads you to where you want, and where you need. God bless you.

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  8. Christin,

    It truly made my stomach turn at how the media has made your father a semi-charming man. I have studied him often and wanted to know the truth beyond the glitter and spotlight. After reading many articles by your mom I have a deeper insight. I can only imagine the hell you have endured. I can only hope you find the peace in life your father never knew. I can only hope that upon his death that a moment of clarity hit him. I can only hope he has followed you as a spirit willing to make amends by throwing good fortune your way. I can see based upon your writings that it was not so.
    Stay strong and endure. My blessings to you and your family.

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  9. Hi are you going to have a new blog update soon?

    Hope all is well,

    -Rob

    On Mon, Jun 20, 2016 at 8:17 AM, Christin Kuklinski wrote:

    > ckuklinski posted: “I gave that interview because it was the first time I > spoke freely. It was very therapeutic for me. I said a lot of things that > were not included, which is not unusual. They showed all my good feelings > and memories toward my father. We had good times, al” >

    Like

  10. Dear Christin,

    I hope you are well and pray for you to have peace in your life.

    Did your father receive Last Rites? Did he ever ask God or forgiveness? Did you visit him when he was in jail?

    Like

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