Thank you Julie, just read your post and made me think. I was so trained to smile and trudge forward, it never occurred that I could hide from all this. My self worth was so low, I found myself married to an alcoholic. The Drama and pain was very comfortable for me. I look back now and realize just how damaged I was back then.
Yes, you can love and loathe a person. I tried to get my fathers life, but I can’t. Just as people say to me, “I can’t image how you grew up”. No you can’t, but I can’t imagine the family that created my father.
I have a son, who I Love very much. But, more importantly, I Really Like Him. His life has not been easy. He went to school with all his classmates learning about his grandfather in criminal justice class. He is learning to not worry about the ugly people we share this world with. The man I am married to today is many if the things I was missing. I am safe and happy. My son and husband are very funny when then both agree to do something because they know it will make me happy.I love them so very much. I like not being afraid everyday.
We move forward and can gladly say that none of us are continuing to bear the violence of our Father. We are not carrying that ugliness into our future’s. I sometimes read the newspaper or watch the news and realize there are many Damaged people out there. This is very upsetting to me. I pray that no one is in my childhood home. If they are please help them to be strong and live to be able to make there own choices. Also, give themselves a break, it is a long recovery.
Hope everyone enjoys Today.